So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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