Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
