I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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