I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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