ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
