Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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