Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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