were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
