I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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