This is not my ceiling
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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