Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
