i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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