actually, I'm a sock model
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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