maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
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Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
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If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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