thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
