i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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