i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
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did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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