Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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