I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
