My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
