i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
