Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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