"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize