You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
