This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
