I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
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i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
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He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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