I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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