Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
