I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
