so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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