Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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