I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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