no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
