I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
