she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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