I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
