his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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