I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Randomize
