just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
