i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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