would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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