So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
