the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
