we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
