Are we in a gay sports bar?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
