Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
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You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
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I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!