So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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