There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
