Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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