their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
