I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
