you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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