I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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