Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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