gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
