I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
