Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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