I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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