he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
