i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
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It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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